‘Holland’ Review: Nicole Kidman Stars in a Slow-Burn Thriller That Fails to Ignite

The largest enigma of the Nicole Kidman thriller “Holland” is how to resist sleeping. Because it’s on Prime Video, Amazon ought to include a coffee maker so you can make it to the movie’s unimpressive conclusion.

“Holland” (★½ out of four; rated R; streaming now) drops Kidman into Midwestern gloom, transporting the A-lister to a Michigan burg famous for tulips, gigantic windmill and Dutch celebration food. Her Lifetime-like potboiler revolves around a working mom who’s bored out of her mind and finds that her husband may not be telling her the whole truth, but whereas the setting is postcard-perfect, the story itself is a constant slog, becoming half-interesting only when it trades in a ridiculous third-act twist and a suddenly gory conclusion.

“Each morning I get to wake up in the greatest place on Earth,” remarks Nancy Vandergroot (Kidman), attempting to reassure herself that her ideal life isn’t ideally dull.

Nancy’s greatest problems appear to be having her 13-year-old son Harry (Jude Hill) being “cheesed off” at her and questioning if disinterested babysitter Candy (Rachel Sennott) swiped one of her pearl earrings. She instructs life skills at the high school, where she sips Hi-C juice box between conversations with shop teacher friend Dave (Gael García Bernal), and returns home to proper optometrist husband Fred (Matthew Macfadyen) when he is not on business travel. Which is frequently.

But sketching ketchup hearts onto meatloaf isn’t doing it for Nancy anymore. She’s tormented by strange nightmares and growing fidgety when she finds small clues that cause her to wonder if Fred hasn’t been quite so honest as to where he’s been.

When she worries about him cheating, Dave tries to have her keep things in perspective – he even wonders aloud to her what we’re all thinking, like who’s going to hook up with this dull eye doctor? However, Dave also fosters strong feelings for Nancy, so he becomes a willing participant in her sneaky missions to seek out evidence. Along the way, Nancy and Dave uncover something completely unexpected that is a wet blanket to their enjoyment of Holland’s Tulip Time parade.

Directed by Mimi Cave, who directed the more assuredly bonkers “Fresh,” “Holland” is a slice of disappointing disturbia that squanders its actors and its premise. Holland, Michigan, is REALLY passionate about tulips and has a lot of potentially fascinating visuals and plot points, but much of the thriller could have been set anywhere. There is a single imaginative application of a wooden clog that’s quite inspired, and a couple of Kidman-in-Dutch-wardrobe scenes that are disturbing, intentionally or otherwise.

Kidman has done better nervy performances than this, but she also doesn’t have a ton to work with in Andrew Sodroski’s script: There are quite a few seeds planted that tease to Nancy’s mysterious backstory but frustratingly fail to bear fruit.

Bernal is good as a man who allows love to interfere with making intelligent choices for his own good, while Macfadyen, one of the highlights of “Succession,” is handed the best part. Fred is as white bread as possible, cheerfully displaying his enormously detailed train set to his boy, but the British actor does darkly smarmy better than most anyone.

Although “Holland” boasts some solid star power, it lacks when it comes to its comedic undertones, dark undertones and an unsatisfying mystery. Rather than messing with your head and a sense of reality, this forgettable movie will only make you sleep.